Got some tough choices to make? How to access and listen to your inner voice

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As some of you may have understood , intuition is one of my absolute favorite topics. in fact I created a whole video series about this topic which you can access here. 

But a couple of weeks ago, during my very first corporate workshop I was asked a very good question by a participant :

" I can access my intuition easily when I feel calm and positive, but what about the stressful times in which I'm in "fight and flight" mode and my mind is running at a million miles per hour? "

Yes, such a good point!

When I think of tough times, or even simply stressful times in my life, they are the ones in which my mind was running at million miles/hour, it was blurred and confused. Probably the times in which my intuition was the last problem of my list as I was totally in fight or flight mode trying to quickly figure out a solution for my urgent problem. Can you relate?

 When I feel like that it usually means that I'm disconnected from myself and I cannot hear my inner wise voice anymore and the result is THIS :

  • I start to panic , and usually I start to doubt also other parts of my life which have nothing to do with that choice !
  • I throw my basic self-care out of the window because all my energy is focused on that issue ( hello survival mode! ) 
  • Listen to anybody else's opinion on the matter
  • And feel like "I just don't know" what to do, because my mind is full of confusion 

 

Have you ever heard the zen quote saying : 

"You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you're too busy, then you should sit for an hour."

That's part of the answer. I'm not saying we need to sit in mediation for 2 hours a day, but in these times more than ever we need to recreate that space of STILLNESS to access our intuition.

And if you're the kind of person that it's chronically stressed and anxious , that's even more relevant because you may end up creating "tough times" even when it's not necessary. Transform a hill into a mountain and get into confusion even quicker.

And honestly that's a very common state nowadays . Real dangerous situations are pretty rare in our daily lives, and most of the times it's our mind create a state of fear that constantly warn us of danger. And then comes the confused mind that blocks our intuition.

What can you do about it?

I've always lived as a pretty anxious and tense person, and very often it wasn't necessary. I imagined situations to be more complex than they were or took on too much responsability for other people!

I think anxiety leads us to choose out of fear instead of out of real intuition. 

Choosing out of fear means taking decisions in order to stop or diminish the negative consequences instead of choosing what we desire the most. "I do this, otherwise this other bad thing may happen to me" , " People will not like it or get angry.." 

 

My personal process to go through these situation in a healthier way is : 

- Getting aware of my anxiety , so knowing if it came from a real danger or just my mind.

  • Do I really have to stress out some much about it? 
  • Am I going to be panicking about this decision in a week time / month/ year? ( Good question to change perspective and look at the big picture) 
  • How can I simplify my day/week to make space for this decision ? 

The point of these questions is that very often we put so much pressure on ourselves that when a real though decision comes up, we still want to juggle all the rest when actually we don't have to. It's so useful to identify tasks that are not so urgent that we can delegate or postpone and make space for some stillness to take place, so our intuition can speak to us again!

 - I'm not a "daily routines" kind of person, I tried a million times and probably the only thing I can do daily is journalling. But I created a "wellbeing toolbox" with lots of possible activities inside, that include ways I like to create stillness like a 10 minutes meditation, walking in nature, doing yoga, dancing or having some fun with friends. These tools take me out of my mind and help me reconnect with myself. 

Tough times are the ones in which we underrate these activities, but truly they are the times when they matter the most!

- Finally knowing that in all the cases , there are no right and wrong answers ! And that only by taking action we will know what's the next step. Overthinking and worrying will not lead us to a solution at the end, and also that in most situation we can change our minds, even if it feels really difficult or involving many people around us, it is possible!

So to wrap up :

When you are living a tough situation :

  1. Go back to your basic self-care : did I eat well today? did I get some sleep? Did I move my body a little?
  2.  Create stillness : this is different for each of us, but what makes you feel calm? Go and do it as soon as possible, even if it's 10 minutes walk during your lunch break, it will do wonders !
  3. See how you mind calms down and your intuition pops-up again to guide you in your tough choice, then close your eyes, hands on the heart and ask yourself "What do I really want to do here?" regardless of what other people think or if the answer sounds quite irrational. And then take a baby step towards that possibility.
  4. After the action is taking reminding yourself that "You did your best with the resources you had available in that moment" and surrender to what's next , knowing that often changing idea is possible and not as bad as you think, because the path we are on it's not a linear highway and more like a roller coster !!
Now I want to know about you : How do you deal with tough times and how do you reconnect with your inner voice? 
Please share in the comments below and let's create a conversation on this topic, your experience may help someone else's struggle on a tough decision !

And If you haven't seen it yet, did you know I have created a whole FREE video series on the topic of intuition ?

Click on the image below to get access to it :

Alessia Gandolfo