Treat Yourself like a Queen Every day
This past weekend I felt stuck in a funk. I felt low and emotional and doubtful and couldn't get over it. I spent lot of time alone because I needed some time to process my emotions, to reflect on the past month that flew by so quickly, and to have an honest look at where I want to go next.
There was journalling, some tears and a couple of sad romantic movies ( The Notebook and Blue Valentine anyone? #ryangloslingtherapy ;-) and I was ok with that. I had accepted that it was what my body and mind needed .
We all get in a funk from time to time and it seems things cannot get better, but when you start with the awareness that this too shall pass, than you know it's just a temporary phase of release and renewal.
Giving myself time and space it's the greatest gift in the lifestyle I'm building for myself, and a message that came up strong and loud this weekend was "Learn to treat yourself like a Queen".
What does it even mean to Treat Yourself like a Queen ?
For me treating yourself like a queen means providing the things you need to feel good, comfortable and energized. And I noticed how living alone and in another country can really play tricks around the way you treat yourself and your environment.
I love this little video of Elizabeth Gilbert interviewed by Oprah that share her favorite quote and what it means for her to be the Queen in her own life !!
And the more I looked at my habits the more I saw areas in which I wasn't treating myself like a queen at all.
Some of my current "Anti-queen" behaviors ?
I want to share a little story with you :
A couple of months ago I started to have some issues with my electricity, the light was going off far too often, and it was starting to get annoying. Plus a couple of lightbulbs broke down in the kitchen. But I did nothing, I left them like that because it wasn't my priority, it wasn't something affecting my life or my daily tasks, it was just affecting ME. And here it's the point, I wasn't taking care of the most important person of my life, my most important client, myself !
Then one day a friend passed by for dinner and she noticed how I was cooking in an half dark kitchen and she asked me "Why didn't you change this lightbulbs?" And I rambled an answer saying "Oh you know, I will do it, it just wasn't my top priority when it happened" and what she said after really opened my eyes, she said
"The way you treat the external environment in which you live it's a reflection of the way you treat your internal space".
And she was so right! By not taking care of that basic need, I wasn't respecting myself. I wasn't giving myself the best conditions to cook properly a beautiful meal, even if just for myself!
And this little story opened my eyes to a series of other bad habits I developed by living alone :
- Forgetting to fix broken things around the house
- Delaying my grocery shopping trips because of other "priorities" ( as if there is anything more important than feeding myself!)
- Going to sleep to an unmade bed
- forgetting for a week to buy a supplement that I should take daily for my health
- Forgetting to change the water of my fresh flowers for a bit too long
- Keeping old socks that don't match, or old clothes in general, "just in case" I may need them!
All these things may seem trivial and a bit ridiculous too , but they are so vital because they are a mirror of your self-respect.
Once I made this realization, I asked myself the question :
What would a Queen do ( OR WHAT WOULD BEYONCÉ DO IF YOU PREFER)?
And I acted on it :
- I called an amazing electrician that did some works in the house and fixed all the problems accumulated in the last months
- I fixed my phone which wasn't working already for a few days and was driving me crazy (good side, I got some tech detox on the way but I got lost much more without my Google Maps!)
- I started to make my bed every morning upon waking up, and it literally took 3 minutes to do!
- I did my groceries online, which I usually never do, so I could order all the heavy stuff like olive oil and condiments that I was delaying for too long
- I checked that all the dishes were washed before going to bed
- I decluttered all the admin papers lying around the house!
And Oh My God, it felt so good, it felt like a breathe of fresh air!
I realize how each of this "trivial things to do" actually take SO much of our mental space and energy, and when we procrastinate this energy increases more and more, until the day we just cannot function properly and we're obliged to fix everything !
But it means even more than that, it means making your home your temple, creating a safe space in which you can really thrive and recharge. And the morning you will open your fridge to an abundance of fresh produce, and when in the morning you'll make yourself a nice breakfast with cute pot of fresh flowers and your favorite tea, you'll know you're doing something amazing for yourself .
And you are literally setting the standards for how you want to be treated by others.
Yesterday I created for myself a one page worksheet where I want to note down again all the little things I'm delaying in the house and in general, and ask myself "What would a Queen do?" as great reminder, and I want to share it with you.