Learn to dance in the rain : How to live through a transition
Lately I've been talking to a lot of friends who are passing a moment of transition. Relationships ended or started, new jobs, new houses....
When you're passing a moment like that, it feels like the earth is shaking under your feet, literally.
You feel like you're walking on egg shells......
Because each step is toward the unknown and this affect everything that goes through your mind and your heart.
I've also been in a big transition in the last year as you probably noticed , with a big change in the direction of my future career and it was like I opened Pandora's vase.
All the old emotions that were buried inside of me for years suddenly came up to the surface, causing a lot of self-doubt , getting sick, alternated by a whole lot of growth and little by little more clarity about who I am and what I want.
So if you're feeling anything like that, this post is to tell you that it's ok, it's perfectly normal to experience all the roller coster of emotions you're riding now. And you're not alone.
We often look around and think that the world around us have it all figured out, but that's not true. And we intrinsically know that but we don't believe it sometimes.
The truth is that no one really knows. No one has all the answers you're looking for .
So how can you live in this BIG MESS?
I remember how few years ago I was stressing so much about interviews when I was looking for internships or when I was applying to my university degree and asking myself:
"Omg, what if I don't like it? What if people are not nice with me? What if the job is too stressfull and I cannot handle it? What if I fail? Or what if I get bored?
And you know what, all of these predictions came true, I experienced all of them!
You have no control on the external factors
I used to spend so much time stressing out about all these factors that were in theory making my "ideal job" or "ideal university" but I didn't realize that they all were EXTERNAL factors, on which I had very little control.
The day I understood that the only part I could control was how I SHOWED UP in the situation, my perspective shifted 360°, and it was SO liberating.
It showed me how, no matter how carefully you plan and strategize, you have no control on what's outside of your window.
You can stare at the cars passing by and hoping they will not make an accident around the corner, and praying a lot, and checking all traffic info you can find, and check the weather forecast.....but you still have no control, plus you're wasting time staring out of that window!
The good side? You have control on how you show up
You have the power to decide what YOU do, how YOU spend your time, what you eat, what you think.......we're the creators of your reality.
So the next time you freak out because you don't know if you'll adapt to the new house, city, job, boyfriend, cat............take a deep breathe and know that the only real balance you can achieve is the internal one.
All the external circumstances will evolve and change ALL THE TIME, but knowing that you can still find refuge and peace inside of yourself is so soothing and beautiful.
And it really makes you strong, because you know that you can bring that INNER PEACE wherever you want.
That you're not completely turned upside down when the next wave come, but you can SURF on it now.
Learning to dance in the rain , instead of praying for the sun to come out, is a continuous ongoing process, but just this awareness makes life more interesting, like an experiment in which there aren't good or bad choices.
You can be vulnerable and know you're trying it out and discovering deeper layers of yourself. ( sight of relief!!)
And less of a precise algorithm in which If one thing goes wrong, your whole life will be a disaster and your self-esteem will drop from 100 to zero because you had attached all your identity to these external factors.
You can set yourself free
If my identity and self-worth is dependent on : getting that JOB, living in that neighborhood preferably with view on the park, having two kids but not before 30.....and the list goes on, you have a whole lot of stress on your shoulders because if one of these eggs fall from the basket, you're screwed.
But if my identity is something deeper and unshakable , the outside world will look much different, creative and expansive, and so your reality can expand.
Now it's your turn, ever you ever felt like you were trying to control the external factors to make them "ideal" for you and getting frustrated when it didn't work? How did you react? Which solution did you find at the end?
With love and light,