How I learned the art of quitting
It didn't really matter how much fun I was having or the importance of the task , I had to get to the end of it.
I think there were two main reasons for my stubborn determination :
1. I didn't want to disappoint the people involved, whether they were family, friends, school teachers or pretty much anyone entering my life. I've been quite a people pleaser for years, and I was really afraid of the effects of my behavior on other people.
2. The second reason was that I couldn't stand wasting my time. Time has always been quite a big concern for me, and the idea of "wasting the time" I had invested in the task was almost unbearable for me, and I would rather push it through to get to the end, that giving up in the middle. Giving up was for losers, not for me!
But during the last year or so I finally had to learn the importance of quitting and discover incredible benefits of giving up something when it's necessary.
At the beginning of this year I wrote in my 2015 resolutions the intention of making space in my life for new adventures and experiences. I knew that in order to create this space, both mentally and physically , I had to let go of things , people and situations that weren't serving me anymore.
But it was so hard to change patterns and to listen to my intuition when it was advising me to saying no and stop taking projects that weren't lighting me up.
So what did I do? I kept saying yes, and accepting "stuff" that was really just a waste of my precious time!
The tipping point was when I accepted a project that would have taken up about 6 months of my time, far too much time, with the only objective of adding a pretty line on my CV and claiming to have completed something prestigious for my career.
My "people pleaser" attitude made me say "yes of course" to the organizer of the project, but the truth is that my acceptance was mainly coming from the fact that my interview with her was quite enjoyable and the person I had to work with was so nice....that I had to accept!
After about a month I found myself sitting in a room at the first meeting of the project, and the only thing that was running through my mind was "What the hell am I doing here??" , I literally felt like a fish out of water and I felt stuck.
When I came back home that evening I was overwhelmed by a feeling of confusion, my inner voice was screaming to please quit that project, because it would have eaten up all the precious time I was dreaming to spend writing this blog or other fun new adventures.
So the day after, for the very first time in my life, I walked to the responsible of the project, and with a sweet and trembling voice, I said out loud that I wanted to quit!
My first reaction was panic and an "OMG I cannot believe I actually did it" feeling, followed by a some guilt, but above all a HUGE sense of lightness . It simply felt right.
After that episode I had other occasions during the last few months in which I initially accepted again something that wasn't feeling right, out of fear or self-doubt, and I learned to quit again .
The art of quitting is like a muscle that get stronger and stronger with training....
And over time you will learn to listen to the intuition straight away and simply say NO to over- commitment, while other times the ego will make it a bit harder.
it's a continuous learning process, and just remember, you always have the CHOICE , even when you feel like you don't .
Now I would like to know from you :
Do you ever get that gut feeling of doing something that doesn't feel right? Do you over-commit and end up saying yes too often? Do you get involved in situations that don't light you up and just feel like a waste of time?
How do you behave? Can you say "No"? Or do you get stuck and stay in the project out of fear?
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!